Guinness Draught

Name: Guinness Draught

Brewer: Guinness, Ltd. (Ireland)

Type: Irish Stout

Delivery: Widget Can and Pub Draft (both good pour and normal pour); Bottle (Extra Stout) available and tasted, but not rated

ABV: 4.2%

Label (5): 3

Look-Cs (color, clarity, carbonation, cap, and constancy) (20): 19

Snout (15): 7

Texture (20): 14

Flavor (30): 19

X-Factor (10): 5

TOTAL: 67

If this stout were... the date you found on OkCupid, it would be the tattooed yet painfully boring "writer."

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In the US, "Guinness" is the most recognizable of all stouts, if not by name, then certainly by its glorious, creamy cascade. Guinness Stout was the creation of Arthur Guinness, of (you guessed it) Ireland. Apparently, beer-making ran in the family, as Arthur's old man, Richard, brewed brews for the workers of the estate of the Archbishop of Cashel. The Archbishop was Arthur's God-Daddy and bequeathed the £100 of start-up money to Arthur, who snatched up a dormant brewery and signed a 9,000 year lease. Arthur began brewing ales, but as he noticed the increase in popularity of "porters" -- a dark brew preferred by the street and river porters of London -- he tried his hand at creating a porter. Guinness, was originally named "Guinness Extra Superior Porter" and was not re-named "Guinness Extra Stout" until 1840. Indeed, the history of stout and porter is intertwined, and the debate over which came first, and how to precisely define each type, is complex enough to merit an entirely separate post.


Arthur's porter took off, and eventually, through the help of his sons, was exported to foreign markets. All the while, the family recipe has been a closely guarded secret. Guinness Stout continues to be the best-selling alcoholic beverage in Ireland, and popular throughout the imbibing world.


The taste and quality of Guinness relies heavily on the delivery method. I have heard from many that drinking a Guinness in Ireland is drastically different from drinking one elsewhere. Any novice, less-worldly beer-drinker can distinguish between a properly-poured draft, and a bottled Guinness. For purposes of this rating, I have used the sum of my experiences in sampling Guinness from both the widget can, and the draft beer.

Now, on to the beer itself:

The label is classic yet stylish, meriting it a 3. I do have to admit I'm a bit of a sucker for their ad campaign ("Guinness is Good for You*" and "Lovely Day for a Guinness") but that does not merit any additional points, as I am a hard-ass. The Look-Cs received a generous 19, mostly for the illustrious cascade of creamy bubbles. The head remains throughout drinking, and the carbonation serves to balance out the bitter and sour flavors of the beer. The snout leaves something to be desired -- and is reminiscent of something to be avoided -- as it furnishes a sour smell similar to Eau de 4 p.m. Dive Bar around which I just can't work. Tasting the beer is a relief, as the sandy yet smooth texture compliments the light and complex flavors -- ending in a roasty finish. The disappointment in the Guinness is its almost watery taste and feel -- I was hoping this beauty had a bit more substance.


Alas, Guinness is nothing more than a gateway beer: for a fleeting moment, you taste possibility.






*It actually is